


Merely Ceremonial

by bevinkathryn



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-07 07:54:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bevinkathryn/pseuds/bevinkathryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had had enough to worry about before between passing his classes and making rent.  He hadn't counted on an excitable dragon hatchling suddenly finding its way into his life, or the way it would turn his life upside down.</p><p>
  <i>"An hour ago, he had been just another student in a shitty flat.  Now he was a cross-species foster parent taking care of a secret dragon in a shitty flat.  And on top of everything, he had to hide it all from his best mate."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Aithusa's traits and growing patterns are a mix of bird, cat, and dog traits/growing patterns, with some liberties taken with the dragonlord legend.
> 
> Read on [my lj](http://silverwings2020.livejournal.com/6077.html).

The last time Merlin had been voluntarily awake at five in the morning, he'd been seven years old and jumping on his mother's bed, eager to see what Father Christmas had brought him.  He had not, as he was now, been bundled into gym clothes after being forced from his bed by his flatmate, shoved into the chilly air, and told, of all things, to  _jog_.

 

All in all, seven year old Merlin had it unquestionably better.

"Come on, Merlin, keep up!" Arthur shouted as he loped gracefully around Merlin (again).  Merlin scowled, pretending not to be jealous of the easy way Arthur ran, as if it wasn't a strain at all.  And of course it wasn't.  Arthur was one of those people who had grown up playing every sport they could, and excelling at all of them.  It wasn't unusual for Merlin to stumble out of his room to find Arthur getting back from a morning run, shirtless and gorgeous and unfairly alert.

"Stuff it, you...bloody...prat," he panted.  Arthur laughed.

"No need to get snippy.  You're the one who said you wanted to get in shape."

"I was...drunk!"

"You still said it," Arthur replied, completely unapologetic.  Merlin threw him a two-fingered salute, saving his breath for the important task of actually breathing.  He was thoroughly unsurprised when Arthur just laughed again.  "I'll make you a deal.  Finish the lap around the park, and I'll make your favourite lasagna for dinner tonight.

Merlin hesitated, weighing his options.  On one hand, Arthur's lasagna was arguably the best thing Merlin had ever tasted.  On the other, he had to run to get it.  In the end, though, his stomach won, and he nodded to accept Arthur's proposal.

"See you at the end, then," Arthur said, and promptly sprinted ahead with perfect, even steps.  He was out of sight almost immediately, but Merlin lumbered along, determined now.  If there was one thing about Arthur, it was that he knew how to push Merlin’s buttons.  They’d met over a year ago through their mutual friend Lance, and moved in together a few months later purely for the convenience of being two single blokes in need of a flatmate.  Since then Merlin had spent half the time bickering with his new infuriating, pushy, stubborn, attractive and inexplicably wonderful friend, when he wasn’t ignoring him for whatever prattish thing he’d done.

He made it about five more minutes before his newfound determination began to wane, stumbling around the corner and groaning when he saw the path winding further into the trees.

"Fuck  _this_ ,” he grumbled, hands on his knees and panting at the ground.  Even Arthur's lasagna wasn't worth dying of exhaustion.  He'd just turn around now and leave Arthur to figure out what had happened—served him right for dragging Merlin out here in the first place.  He'd just catch his breath first…

Without warning, his magic flared up inside him, making him bolt upwards in surprise, looking around him frantically.  It'd been  _years_  since his magic had acted up without his permission.  He felt suddenly jittery, hyped by the excited magic thrumming through him.  Something had to have triggered it, but he couldn't see anyone else in the dawn light.  And then it came again, a sudden, fierce pulse of magic that made his own surge again.  It seemed to be urging him in the direction of the trees to his left.  Merlin hesitated, but his magic insisted, tugging until he gave in and took a tentative step off of the path.  At once, his magic purred as if rewarding him for a job well done, before a third surge of magic sent it buzzing again.

Merlin continued cautiously.  His magic had never led him astray before, but these surges were strange.  The magic felt...foreign, more than any other Merlin had encountered.  He trusted his instincts, but didn't want to be caught off guard if whatever was calling to him wasn't friendly.

He was about twenty feet from the path when his magic practically exploded inside of him, making him retch.  He peered around for the cause, but saw only more trees. But his magic was still urging him on, so he took another step forward and felt his foot thunk into something which was definitely not wood.  His magic jumped at the same time he felt another surge, this time accompanied by something that sounded like a squawk.

"What the hell?" he said, jumping backwards to see what he'd hit.

At first, he saw nothing but dirt.  Then he caught sight of something poking out just beside his foot.  Still feeling cautious, he knelt down.  As soon as his fingers touched it, he felt the strongest surge yet wash over him, leaving him breathless.  His magic seemed to be dong the thinking for him, because the next thing he knew he was brushing the thing free of dirt and pulling it out of the ground.  The thing, whatever it was, had clearly been buried for a long time. It was mostly oval-shaped, with one end tapering off into a slight point.  It was lighter than Merlin expected, about the size of his head and coloured a light blue.  When Merlin cradled it more securely in his arms, it purred along with his magic.

Merlin slowly got to his feet, staring down at his burden.  Whatever it was, it didn't seem hostile.  And he certainly couldn't leave an unknown magical object just lying around.  He'd have to take it back to the flat.

The walk through the forest was much easier without his magic bubbling around.  In fact, his magic felt downright happy.  It easily complied when he conjured a quick glamor spell to slip past the early morning commuters now taking to the streets, and hummed merrily as he walked.  If he hadn't known better, he would've thought it was  _talking_  to The Thing.

As soon as he got back to the flat, Merlin shut himself in his room and locked the door.  The Thing he placed on his dresser while he dug his book of magic out from beneath his bed.  When nothing in there fit the description he was looking for, he dug out his mobile.

"Whatever you have must be very important to have you calling me so early," Merlin's uncle Gaius said in greeting when he answered the call.  For the first time since he'd found the Thing, Merlin realized just how early it was, and cringed.

"Sorry, Uncle Gaius.  It is important, I swear."

"Very well when.  What is it?"

Merlin quickly relayed the story, from the wave of magical energy to his own magic's reaction to bringing his find to the flat.  When he finished, he could already hear his uncle rifling through one of his books.

"What does it look like?"

"Sort of...like an egg, except much bigger, and like someone stretched out one end."  He leaned closer to get a better look.  The Thing was still buzzing slightly, and Merlin had the strangest feeling that it was nervous, or shy, which was just ridiculous.  He heard Gaius turn a few more pages before he stopped suddenly,

"Merlin.  You said your magic seemed to be communicating with this object?"

"Yeah, it's sort of...humming, I guess."

"And you found it buried underground."

"Yes.  Gaius, what's wrong?  Have you figured out what it is?"

"It’s only a theory, but there’s only so many options.  My boy...I believe you have found a dragon's egg."

There was a great long pause, during which Merlin waited for Gaius to say "April Fools!"  When it became obvious that he would do nothing of the sort, Merlin did the only thing he could think to do.

"Shit," he swore, loudly.  "Are you sure?”

“Well, obviously I cannot be  _entirely_  certain until I examine it myself.  But all things considered…yes.  I am sure.”

Merlin damn near dropped his phone in shock.  A  _dragon_?

“But Gaius—dragons are extinct.  You’ve said so yourself.”

His uncle hesitated before he answered.  "There is a druid legend which says that, centuries ago, when the last dragons were being slain by the swords of men, a great sorcerer took an egg and hid it to ensure the dragons would live on somehow.  The egg was never found, and the sorcerer kept its location to his grave.  As time wore on people began to believe that it had simply been a story and that the dragons were truly gone.  Clearly they were wrong."

“Clearly,” Merlin agreed weakly.  He spared a glance for the egg on his dresser, but looked away again quickly.  “Gaius, what...what am I supposed to do with a dragon egg?"  He gave a rather hysterical laugh.  "I have exams and a job.  Can’t you take care of it?”

“I’m afraid not, my boy,” Gaius said in the tone he used when he thought Merlin was being unreasonable.  “The egg called you to it.  As a dragonlord it is your responsibility to care for it.  Besides, there is very little I can do from here.”

Merlin collapsed onto the bed.  His mother had told him of his father's dragonlord legacy years ago, but he had never thought he would actually have to  _use_  the powers.  Dragons had been extinct for centuries, his mother (and later, Gaius) had assured him.  And yet, here he was.

"So what do I do?"

Ten minutes later, Merlin stood in front of the egg again.  His hand shook when he raised it and sent a gentle wave of heat towards it.  When the egg rattled, he increased the strength of his magic, until he could feel the heat radiating from his fingers and the egg was positively quaking on the dresser.  He let his hand fall then, just as the tip gave in to the heat with a loud  _Crack!_

The egg continued to rattle, but now there were tiny pieces of it falling aside, and Merlin caught the barest glimpse of something pale and scaly through the gaps.

" _A dragonlord must name a dragon to pull it fully from its egg_ ," Gaius' voice murmured in Merlin's head.  " _Just listen to your instincts_."

Merlin's eyes closed.  As if it'd been waiting for a cue, his magic surged forward, and he opened his mouth without even thinking to say, "Aithusa."

He wasn't sure where he name had come from, let alone what it meant, but he must have chosen well because suddenly the egg gave one last shudder before the dragon burst through it, fluttering its tiny wings.  It blinked at him, and all of Merlin's air whooshed out of his lungs.  The dragon was pure white with wings hardly wider than Merlin’s shoulders, and when it blinked, Merlin saw pale blue eyes.

It looked less like a legendary creature and more like a child's toy.

"Oh my God," he breathed, bringing a shaking hand up to his mouth.  The dragon—Aithusa—chirruped again, and Merlin felt the now familiar surge of magic wash over him.  It felt different now, more concentrated than the pure energy from before.  It wasn't until Aithusa shuffled out of the remains of her egg, head cocked and whistling softly, that he realized the dragon was trying to comfort him.

"It's alright," he said hurriedly, reaching for his own magic to console the dragon's.  "Shh, it's fine..."

He kept murmuring nonsense until the dragon's whistling had been replaced by purring.  Aithusa, newly contented, set about exploring her surroundings.  Merlin had to laugh when she sneezed as soon as she shoved her muzzle into a scarf nearby, quickly followed by a wave of panic.  Gaius had said his dragonlord powers would tell him what to do, but if that was true, they seemed to be doing a rubbish job.  His mind was blank of anything but panic.

He was so distracted he didn't notice Aithusa edging closer to the edge of the dresser until she was attempting to climb off of it.

"No!"  He managed to catch the dragon just as she tumbled off of the edge.  She squawked and buried her head in the crook of Merlin's elbow, and Merlin tentatively stroked her head.  "You're alright...just be careful next time."

He felt more than a little foolish talking to something he wasn't even sure could understand him, but it seemed to be working.  Aithusa had started humming again and was happily nuzzling his jumper while Merlin continued to stroke her head.  Her scales were surprisingly warm to the touch.  Merlin gave her a tentative scratch on her back, and was rewarded with another purr.

"Are you hungry?" he asked suddenly.  Aithusa just chirped, but his magic told him yes, so he gently set the dragon down on the mattress.  "Stay there, alright?  I'll be back in a moment with…something.  What do baby dragons eat, anyway?"

Aithusa didn't answer, but Merlin hadn't expected her to.  He left her to nose at his bedclothes, praying his magic would help him suss out dragon-appropriate food.

He had barely stepped into the kitchen when he heard the front door open and Arthur shouted "Merlin!"

Merlin froze, and for one panicked second wondered if he'd remembered to close his bedroom door.  A moment later, Arthur found him, still wearing his running clothes and a distinctly unimpressed expression.

"What was that about, Merlin?  There wasn't that much path left.  You didn't have to just leave."

"I..."  Merlin floundered, distracted by the wave of curious magic sent out by Aithusa at the sound of a new voice.  He hurriedly faked a sneeze to hide the gold of his eyes as he stressed the thought  _Stay, stay…_  over their connection.  When he opened his eyes again, Arthur was looking at him, still irritated, but with a hint of concern in his eyes now.  "I...I'm sorry, Arthur.  My, er, allergies started acting up, so I came home.  I should've told you first."

He offered a shaky smile, which probably aided his claims of not feeling well.  Arthur frowned.

"I see.  We'll have to find another place for next time, then, so your...allergies don't act up."  He stared at Merlin for another second before shaking his head.  "Honestly, Merlin, you look like death.  You didn't even run a mile!  We have got to work on your stamina."

"Stamina, yeah.  Sounds great."  Merlin nodded, edging further into the kitchen.  "But I, uh, still don't feel all that great.  I'm just going to make tea and head to bed for a bit."

He didn't even wait for Arthur to respond before he retreated into the kitchen, making a big show of getting the kettle out.  Eventually, Arthur walked away, and Merlin dropped the pretense.  He was fairly certain that a dragon wouldn't be interested in anything from the pantry, so he dug around in the fridge.  After a few moments of foraging, he emerged with a plate of meat in one hand, and some wilted-looking lettuce in the other.  He hurried into his bedroom, careful to shield his armful from view of the bathroom where he could hear Arthur rummaging around.

Aithusa greeted him with a quiet trill.  He spared her a smile, grateful that she'd obeyed his commands, and brandished his prizes.

"Alright, time to do some experimenting."

The lettuce was immediately discarded.  Aithusa refused to do more than sniff at it before turning her muzzle away.  The meat, however, she happily accepted, so Merlin left her to tear at it on the floor while he toyed with his phone.

After a moment, he sighed.  "Fuck it," he muttered, and dialed.

"Hello?"

Merlin swallowed hard and forced himself to smile.  "Hey, mum.  How are you?"

"Oh, fine.  I just came in from the garden."  He heard her rummaging around, probably making tea.  "What about you?"

"I..." Merlin trailed off.  Suddenly the thought of telling his mother about the dragon currently munching away at his feet seemed like a terrible idea, but he knew his mother would see right through him.

So he told her.  Unlike Gaius, she kept silent through his story, letting him talk uninterrupted.  He knew she was burning with questions, and probably just as many concerns, but he was grateful that she held her tongue.

"Oh, my darling boy," she said when he'd finished, just like she had when he was ten and complaining about being teased at school.  "Is there really no one else you can give the dragon to?"

"Gaius says no.  It's my destiny, apparently."

Hunith said nothing.  Merlin knew she was thinking of his father, who had loved them both fiercely until his death when Merlin was three, and who had told Hunith the burden their children would bear.  The difference, of course, was that to Balinor the burden had been a mostly ceremonial one.  An actual dragon threw a bit of a wrench into things.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut.  For the first time in years, he wished his father was there to tell him what to do.  And then suddenly, he was furious.

"I didn't ask for this,” he growled, tugging on his fringe in frustration.  “Why does it have to be me?"

"Merlin--"

"No, mum, I'm serious.  I'm sick of being told to just accept it.  I want to know why."

"We can't escape our destinies, Merlin."

"I don't care!" Merlin shouted.  His mother sucked in a breath, but he couldn't bring himself to feel bad.  He was  _sick_ , really truly sick, of hearing about his destiny.

Something brushed against his knee with a soft whistle.  He opened his eyes to see Aithusa staring up at him, balancing precariously on her haunches.  She whistled inquisitively, and Merlin gave her a tiny, but genuine, smile.

"It's alright," he said, stroking her nose comfortingly.  Aithusa chirruped once more before slinking away back to her food.  Merlin bit his lip.  "Mum?"

"I'm still here."

"I'm scared."

"I know, my darling boy."

"I just...what am I supposed to do?"

Hunith sighed.  "Your father always said that a dragonlord's knowledge came from his instincts.  When a new dragonlord was born, those instincts would awaken inside him.  You just have to listen to your instincts."

Merlin snorted softly.  "Gaius said the same thing."

"Gaius is a smart man.  He knows almost as much about magic as your father did.  He will help you with this, Merlin.  You are not completely on your own."

"I know, mum."  He bit his lip.  "I'm sorry I shouted."

"It's alright.  I understand.  Do you feel any better?"

Merlin rubbed his forehead.  "I guess.  I'm just...worried.”

"Of course you are.  You're a new parent," Hunith said, and Merlin was startled into laughter.

"God help me," he agreed, and then sobered suddenly.  "What should I tell Arthur?"

"That's up to you.  He doesn't know about your magic?"

"No," Merlin said firmly.  He wasn't exactly opposed to telling his flatmate his biggest secret.  He had daydreamed about doing it more than once, except in his dreams it was usually gasped between kisses or in the middle of a passionate handjob.  Reality was much less satisfying.

 "Then don’t tell him anything.  You can use your magic to help keep it from him, until you think of other options."

Merlin exhaled heavily.  The weight in his chest had lightened somewhat, but he was still scared.  An hour ago, he had been just another student in a shitty flat.  Now he was a cross-species foster parent taking care of a secret dragon in a shitty flat.  And on top of everything, he had to hide it all from his best mate.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he sighed eventually.  “What could possibly go wrong?”

A few minutes later, Merlin hung up the phone and turned to his new charge.  Aithusa had finished her meal some time ago and was now exploring the room, sniffing at everything.  She looked up when he slid to the floor and gave a friendly-sounding yip.

"Hi," he said, extending a hand when she padded over.  She was remarkably cat-like, Merlin thought, watching her lean into his touch.  Maybe he had been overreacting.  Magical or no, a pet was a pet, right?

Oblivious to his musings, Aithusa gave a great big yawn and promptly clambered into Merlin's lap.  Merlin chuckled.

"Sleepy, huh?  Here, let's get you comfortable."

Aithusa huffed in annoyance when he shifted, but quickly snuggled in when he deposited her on the bed again.  He was about to walk away, when something made him fetch a spare blanket from the closet, tucking it around her for extra warmth.  Aithusa purred again, pleased.

"I'll be back later.  Try to be quiet, alright?"

Out in the hall, Merlin took a deep breath.  He could hear the telly playing in the sitting room, so he headed that way.  Sure enough, Arthur was sitting on the sofa.  He looked up when Merlin entered.

”Feeling better?"

Merlin blinked.  "What?  Oh, right.  Yeah, I'm...fine, thanks."

Arthur didn't say anything for a moment, just staring hard at Merlin.  There was a small frown on his face, and for a second Merlin panicked, thinking that Arthur had somehow overheard and knew about the dragon before it disappeared and Arthur smiled.

"Fancy getting your arse kicked in a game?"

Merlin laughed.  "Cocky, Pendragon.  Maybe I've improved."

"There isn't enough time in the world,  _Mer_ lin," Arthur retorted, and threw Merlin his controller

Sure enough, three rounds later, Merlin had only managed one victory, which in and of itself was incredibly unusual.  Even more so was Arthur's lack of gloating. The first round he'd restrained himself to a fist thrust, followed but only a gruff shrug when Merlin won the second.  Now after the third, Arthur hid his smug grin behind his fist.  Merlin stared at him.

"Are you alright?"

Arthur blinked.  "Course I am, Merlin.  Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're acting all funny.  Like you're humble, or something.  It's weird."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Arthur scoffed.  "There's just no point in gloating when I beat you.  It's hardly an accomplishment.  Now shut up and pick up your controller, the next round's starting."

Merlin rolled his eyes but did as he was told.  Arthur made a point of gloating (loudly) when he won, pulling Merlin in to trap him in a headlock.

"Get off, you ass!" Merlin groaned.  Arthur obliged, but not before he ruffled Merlin's already hopelessly disheveled hair.

"Loser buys dinner," he declared smugly, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.  "How do you feel about Indian?  I could kill for some chicken korma right now."

"Fine by me," Merlin replied with a roll of his eyes.  "You call it in, I'll be right back."

Arthur waved him off, already distracted by his phone, and Merlin skipped away for his bedroom.  Aithusa was still lolling in her makeshift nest, but she cracked one sleepy eye open when he entered.

"Hey there," he called quietly, making a mental note to ask Gaius about dragon sleeping patterns, "you alright?"

He got a vague trill in response.  Taking this as a yes, Merlin nodded.

"I'm going to be in the sitting room for a bit longer.  Just...I dunno, chirp if you need me."

Aithusa barely even hummed this time, but Merlin didn't worry about it.  He ran a gentle finger over her snout before going to rejoin Arthur in the sitting room, and wondered what he'd done in a past life to deserve this.

\---

The flat was blessedly empty when Merlin let himself in after lectures, dumping his pack at the door and hurrying towards his room.  As it had been every day for the past month and a half, the door to his room was locked tight.  With a quick glance it clicked open, and he hurried inside.

"Aithusa," he called, letting the door fall shut, "I'm home."

He heard a quiet screech, and the dragon came barreling out of his closet to greet him.  Merlin laughed and bent down for a cuddle.  The past five weeks of dragon husbandry had proven to be both more and less difficult than he'd initially imagined. Aithusa was like a kitten, if a kitten had wings and grew twice its size in a month--curious and playful and a little bit snooty, when she wanted to be.  She'd created a nest for herself in the closet out of old jumpers and socks, which Merlin was not allowed to touch for threat of a hot sigh aimed at his hands.  She hadn't yet learned to breathe fire, for which Merlin was eternally grateful.  Keeping her cooped up in his flat would've been twice as hard.

By far the hardest part was keeping her away from his friends, Arthur especially.  She was growing more and more restless as she got bigger and Merlin couldn't blame her.  Soon he wouldn't be able to keep her a secret.  Both he and Gaius had spent many a night on the phone discussing just that, but so far neither of them had any ideas.

"Are you hungry?" he asked the dragon, stroking the scales along her back to hear her purr.  Aithusa bleated an obvious yes, and Merlin disentangled himself to fetch her something.  Since Arthur wasn't due back for at least another hour he let her follow him out of the bedroom. She stuck her snout wherever she could, like she always did, squawking her delight.  Merlin smiled fondly at her.

"It was pay day yesterday, so I figured we'd celebrate with your favourite," he said, pulling the raw steak out of the fridge.  Aithusa trilled excitedly, her nostrils flaring.  "Smells good, huh?  Hang on, I'll just cut it up for you."

He set the plate on the table.  "Gaius thinks you'll be ready to start learning how to hunt soon," he went on, turning to track down a knife.  "Although we're not really sure how to do that, exactly.  I've been watching youtube tutorials on now to train birds, though, so I might be of  _some_ help.  Then again, Gaius says your instincts might be--"

A sudden crash interrupted him, and he whirled around with a screech, fully prepared to see Arthur standing in the doorway, staring at the dragon in their kitchen and about ten seconds away from shouting.  He’d already opened his mouth to start apologizing, or maybe cast something, before he realized that the only thing in the doorway was an overturned chair.

A second later, Merlin realized that Aithusa wasn’t there, either.

A soft whistle brought his attention to the table.  Aithusa was perched on top of it, her tail swinging off of the edge as she happily munched on the steak.  Her wings were still splayed out behind her, fluttering a little as if to say  _See? I can manage fine on my own_. Merlin forced himself to close his mouth, and dugout his mobile.

"Uncle Gaius?  I...I think we might have to move up on Aithusa's training."

\---

It was pitch black when Merlin peered around his bedroom door, dressed in dark clothes and carrying a gym bag over one shoulder.  He crept across the flat as quietly as he could, praying that Arthur wouldn't catch him.  Aithusa shifted slightly in the bag, not thrilled with her surroundings in spite of the blankets Merlin had stuffed inside to make it more comfortable.

"Shh," he whispered to her, eyes on Arthur's door. "Just a bit longer."

He let out a breath of relief when he made it out of the flat undetected, and another when they reached outside.  The park was only a few blocks away, but Merlin didn't waste time dawdling to get there.  There were only a few people on the streets at this time of night, and none of them paid Merlin any attention as he hurried past, trying not to look suspicious.

He hesitated for the first time at the gate to the park.  It wasn't technically closed, but he had no excuses if he were to get caught.  Somehow he didn't think "training a dragon how to hunt" would get him very far with the police, but he really didn't have a choice.

As per Gaius' instructions, Merlin let his magic guide him through the park, looking for a clearing.  When he found one, he gently set the gym bag at his feet before casting security spells a few feet away in every direction.

“ _Díegol.  Áhelle áwære_ ," he murmured.  When he was satisfied, he turned back to the bag.

Aithusa whistled curiously when he unzipped her case and stuck her muzzle out to sniff the unfamiliar air.  Something must have caught her attention, because suddenly she let out an excited yip and scrambled out.  Merlin burst out laughing when she yelped the moment her claws touched grass.

“Calm down, you’re fine,” he said, sending out a wave of magic.  “It won’t hurt you, I promise.”

Aithusa gingerly lowered her muzzle to sniff at the grass tickling her feet.  She took a tentative step, then another.  When that didn’t kill her, she snorted, and immediately set about exploring the rest of the clearing.  Merlin settled in to wait and smiled as she ran slapdash around the clearing, wings beating madly, sniffing at everything.  A stone held her attention for about two seconds before she moved on to a discarded crisp bag.  She yipped again when she found a bunch of wildflowers, and promptly sneezed the moment she stuck her muzzle into the heart of it.

"Easy there," Merlin laughed when Aithusa ran over to him for comfort.  "It's just flowers.  You just need to get used to things."

Aithusa huffed, as if she was disagreeing with him.  But she leaned happily into his hand as it stroked her head.  Merlin was just about to scoot her off for more exploring when she froze suddenly, and swung her neck around to stare unblinkingly at a bush several feet away.  Merlin followed her line of vision in time to see the leaves shake as something moved inside it.  Aithusa huffed again, like a dog on the scent.

Merlin's magic rustled, and he squatted down to murmur to Aithusa, " _Wáþ_."

Even though Gaius had warned him, Merlin was unprepared for the guttural growl of his voice when he used his dragonlord magic.  He didn’t even really know what language he had spoken; he’d just imagined his command and his magic had taken it from there.

If Merlin was caught off-guard by his magic, Aithusa was anything but.  At his command she sprinted off towards the bush.  Merlin made to call her back, but his magic surged again, telling him to wait.  He listened, in spite of his unease, and watched Aithusa run towards the bush. She charged straight in, until all Merlin could see of her was her tail and the tips of her wings.

Something chittered from the bush, and Merlin was pretty sure it wasn't Aithusa.  From the sounds of things she'd cornered a squirrel, and a split second later he was proven right when one came tearing out of the bush, followed closely by Aithusa.  Merlin almost laughed as he watched them run, until he saw how close they were getting to his protective spells.  Neither of them would be harmed by the magic, but he didn’t want to risk some passerby stumbling across his dragon.

"Aithusa--" he started to say, but he needn't have worried.  Seeing its chance, the squirrel leapt up onto a tree just at the edge of the clearing, scuttling higher just in time to avoid Aithusa's bite.

The dragon made a frustrated sound, stretching on her haunches to try to get to her prey.  Her wings fluttered slightly, but without a prop to help her she couldn’t so much as hover, let alone fly.  When it realized the danger was gone the squirrel paused several feet away to chitter furiously down at her.  Merlin really did laugh, then, and the squirrel took fright and ran.

"Come on, Aithusa.  He's gone now," Merlin called when Aithusa continued to sniff up at the tree.  She gave him an impatient look but then seemed to sigh and waddled closer.  She looked so dejected that Merlin automatically swooped down to scratch her favourite spot just behind her wings in sympathy.

"Don't worry, it was only your first try.  No one really expects to succeed when they're doing something for the first time."

Aithusa purred softly, but there was still a distinct droop to her wings.  Merlin let a flicker of comforting magic escape, warming the scales beneath his fingers until Aithusa finally butted him gently, her own magic rolling out to meet him.

"That's better," Merlin said approvingly, and got to his feet.  "Maybe it's too early to start hunting actual animals."

He reached into his coat pocket, where he'd stashed a few slices of meat.  Aithusa stretched to sniff his hand as he opened the bag, and he laughed.

"Alright, hang on just a second.  We do need to do  _some_  training.  Now stay."  Aithusa grumbled but obeyed, and Merlin moved to stand several feet away.  Satisfied with his position, he picked out a piece of meat and concentrated on it for a moment.  His eyes flashed golden.

"Ready, Aithusa?"

Aithusa whistled.

“ _Áféde_.”

Merlin tossed the meat a few feet away.  Aithusa darted towards it, but as soon as she got close enough, it disappeared.  The dragon stopped short, sniffing frantically.  Merlin smirked when she spotted the meat lying a foot away from its previous position and promptly dove for it, only for it to disappear.  Aithusa whistled in frustration.  This pattern repeated another four or five times, Merlin's smile growing bigger and bigger behind his hand, until finally Aithusa paused before diving.  She pressed her belly low to the ground, wings curled close to her sides.  A moment passed without any movement at all.  And then Aithusa pounced, planting her claws on either side of the piece of meat and snapping it in her jaws.

"Good, Aithusa!" Merlin laughed.  Aithusa trotted back towards him, wings raised like a banner as she happily chewed her prize.  When she was close enough, she reached out with her muzzle and butted Merlin's pocket.  Merlin laughed again, scratching the top of her scaly head.

"Alright, we can practice more," he agreed, and Aithusa trilled happily.

By the time Merlin stumbled back to the flat, the sky had already begun to lighten with the rising sun.  Aithusa dozed happily in her bag for the entire journey, rousing only when they were back in Merlin’s bedroom and only to waddle over to her nest.  Merlin blearily followed suit, leaving his jeans and shirt piled on the floor and collapsing into bed.

His last thought before he fell asleep was,  _If Arthur tries to wake me up tomorrow, I’ll incinerate him_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read on [my lj](http://silverwings2020.livejournal.com/6376.html).

The clearing was silent, and Merlin was mostly failing at not falling asleep against the tree he was leaning on.  It was a cold night, with some of the snow from a few days ago still lingering on the ground, but Merlin’s magic was warm around him. 

A bush across the way rustled, and a second later something darted out of it.  Aithusa followed close behind, wings tight against her body, and then she pounced.  The squirrel gave one final squeak, and Merlin winced as Aithusa made her kill, victorious tail in the air.

“Well done,” he said encouragingly when Aithusa trotted over for praise.  “You hardly need me here at all anymore.”

Aithusa preened, understanding the praise if not the words themselves, and then purred when Merlin petted her.  She permitted it for a moment, radiating smugness, before another rustle from the foliage sent her straight back into hunting mode.   Merlin let his hand fall as she flattened herself to the ground and stalked towards a bush.  A squeak signaled that her prey had caught on to her attack, and quick rustling meant retreat, but Aithusa gave chase anyway.

Merlin yawned.  Between staying up half the night hunting with Aithusa and the amount of homework he’d been handed, he’d only been able to get a few hours of sleep at a time for weeks now.  He managed mostly by grabbing quick naps in the library between classes and drinking more coffee than any sane human would ever consume, but even still it was hard.  Letting his eyes close, Merlin settled himself against the tree again, already feeling himself drifting off—

Loud, raucous laughter echoed through the trees.  Merlin jerked awake with a curse, searching frantically for Aithusa.  He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the dragon a few feet away, head tilted curiously in the direction of the path but still safely inside the boundaries of Merlin’s magic.

“I can’t see a fuckin’ thing!” someone laughed—a woman, drunk judging by the slight slur of her words.  Someone else laughed.

“’cos it’s fuckin’ night,” a man’s voice replied, just as drunk as the girl.  There was more laughter, followed by rustling, as if someone had been shoved into a bush, and then the guy shouted, “Oi!”

“Fuck,” a third voice groaned, male again and louder than the others, “I thought you said this was a shortcut, Ned.”

“It woulda been, if you hadn’ tried to lead us into the pond.”

Merlin got carefully to his feet.  The voices were getting closer, too close for comfort.  He sent out a tendril of magic to check on his wards.  Another burst of laughter erupted from the path, practically on top of them, and Aithusa let out a warning yip in response.

Suddenly, the sounds of footsteps stopped.

“Did you hear that?” the first man—Ned—asked.  Merlin froze.  He must have forgotten to muffle the noise—he’d just been so tired…

“Was it a dog?”

“Nah, can’t be—“

“Who’s there?” Ned called out, and Merlin cursed to hear the crunch of leaves under feet as the group came even closer.  He darted forward, casting the muffling spell as he went, to put a calming hand on Aithusa’s neck.

“Aithusa,  _smyltnes_ ,” he whispered, and a line of tension immediately left her, right as a tree just in front of them gave way to a tall, stumbling man.  Merlin held his breath, but his spells seemed to be doing their job.  The man halted right on the edge of the clearing, and a strange sort of blankness passed over his face before it passed, and he was left staring at the seemingly empty clearing.

“Ned?  Is something wrong?” the girl asked, following at a more ginger pace.  Her eyes swept curiously over the clearing, passing straight over Merlin without recognition.

“…nah,” Ned said at last, and Merlin finally relaxed.  “Must’a been a bird, or sommat.”

The girl giggled, aiming a sloppy punch at Ned’s shoulder.  “Birds don’ make that sound, it was a dog.”

“It was  _not_ —“ Ned insisted, but Merlin wasn’t paying attention anymore.  He dropped his head into his hands, trying to calm his heartbeat.  Aithusa whistled quietly, placing her muzzle on his knee.

“It’s okay,” Merlin said a little shakily.  “I’m just—that was close.”

It’d been too close, really.  He had to be more careful.  Tired or no, he couldn’t risk someone getting too close again.  He stroked Aithusa’s neck until his heart calmed and he could stand without shaking.  Aithusa kept close to his side, radiating protectiveness.  Merlin smiled down at her, and glanced at his watch.

“Shit,” he swore when he saw the time.  “How long was I asleep?  Come on, we need to get home.”

Aithusa chirped and trotted over to her bag.  Merlin noticed that the fit was getting tighter and tighter—soon she wouldn’t be able to fit inside it at all.  For now, though, he let his magic make it as comfortable as possible as he hurried through the empty streets for his flat.  He let himself in silently, mindful of the early hour.  Arthur’s door was predictably closed, just like it had been when he’d left, so Merlin tiptoed past and into his own room.

The adrenaline from almost getting caught had mostly run out by now, so Merlin blearily set Aithusa loose and stripped down to his boxers before falling facedown onto his bed, exhausted.

It seemed like he’d only been asleep for seconds before his alarm went off.  His entire body was sore from sleeping outside in the cold most of the night, but he dragged himself out of bed anyway, ignored Arthur’s vaguely concerned look as he gulped down his coffee, and then mostly slept through all of his lectures.  Finally, his classes ended and he stumbled out into the chilly air, juggling a pile of papers as he hurried towards the bus stop.

He’d just managed to stabilize everything when his mobile went off in his pocket.

“Hello?” he said a little hurriedly, nearly dropping his textbook in an attempt to balance his mobile on his shoulder.

“Oh, Merlin, good, you answered,” Gwen’s voice chirped cheerfully over the line.  “I hope this is a good time.”  Merlin snorted and managed to catch a free standing paper.

“As good as any.  What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up to study for that medieval warfare exam.”

Merlin blinked.  “What warfare exam?”

“The one we have tomorrow morning?  Monmouth’s been talking about it all week.  You were listening, weren’t you?”

“Shit,” Merlin groaned, “I forgot.”

“Well, you still have time.  I can come over and help you study,” Gwen suggested reassuringly.  “You can even use my notes.”

Merlin sighed.  He’d been hoping to use tonight to catch up on sleep, after he’d caught up on the mountain of homework he still had.  But there was no way he would be able to pass this exam without Gwen’s help.

“Yeah, I guess you should.  Thank you, Gwen.”

“Of course.  See you in an hour?”

“That’s fine.  Gotta go, I’ll see you in a bit.”

He hung up quickly and scurried forward to join the queue for the bus.  The ride took longer than usual, so Merlin had to rush up to his flat.  He was rummaging in his pocket for his keys when the door opened in front of him, and he blinked up at Arthur’s amused face.

“Most people put their books  _inside_  their bags when they have to carry them,  _Mer_ lin.”

“Shut up,” Merlin shrugged, not even bothering to come up with a scathing reply and breezing inside.  “You’re home early.”

“Lectures ended early.”

“Lucky for some.  You’re not using the sitting room tonight, are you?”

“No,” Arthur said, drawing out the ‘o’, “why?”

“Gwen’s coming over to study.”

Arthur shrugged.  “Fine by me.  What exam did you forget about this time?”

“Who says I forgot?” Merlin asked indignantly, tossing his books onto the counter.

“You only let Gwen force you to study with her when you’ve forgotten about something,” Arthur pointed out smugly.  “So, which is it?”

“Medieval warfare,” Merlin admitted grudgingly, and Arthur snickered at him.

“You’re fucked, mate.  Monmouth’s exams are killers.”

Merlin groaned, which was interrupted by a jaw-cracking yawn.  Arthur raised his eyebrow at him.

“Sleep poorly?”

“You have no idea,” Merlin mumbled, and dropped his head down onto the counter.  He heard Arthur laughing at him.  “A little bit of sympathy would be nice, you arse.”

“That’s Lance’s department,” Arthur pointed out, truthfully, with a hearty slap to Merlin’s back.  “Tea’ll be ready in five,” he added, and Merlin wanted to kiss him (though to be fair, that wasn’t unusual for him).

“Thank fuck,” Merlin moaned instead.  “I’m going to drop my things off in my room.”

He slipped away for his bedroom, disengaging the spells around the door with a quick blink and stepping inside.  Aithusa was dozing in a patch of sunlight, but she raised her head when he entered and gave him a welcoming whistle.

“Hey,” Merlin said softly, dumping his bag on the ground.  “Have a good day?”  Aithusa chirped and extended her neck for a petting.  Merlin grinned.  “Good.  I have a friend coming over, so you’re on your own for a while longer.  We’ll go to the park tonight, though, alright?”

Another chirp, this time accompanied by a vague image of something round and green imprinted in Merlin’s mind.  That was a new thing.  Over the past few days they’d discovered that Aithusa had progressed to being able to share mental images rather than just feelings with Merlin.  More often than not, they were blurred and hard to decipher, but it was still progress.

Merlin stroked over Aithusa’s favourite spot behind her wings.  “Yeah, alright, just give me a second.”

He scrambled to his feet and went down to hunt down the ball he’d bought to keep Aithusa entertained while he was away.  Aithusa’s tail perked up in interest when he held it up, eyes glowing golden, and then the ball bounced away seemingly of its own volition.  Aithusa’s eyes tracked it, but she made no move to chase just yet.  Merlin patted her on the head again.

“Try not to break anything,” he said, even though he’d enchanted everything in the room weeks back, and turned to scoop up his notebook.

He heard the beginnings of a playful growl before he shut the door and cast the noise muffling spell Gaius had found for him, right as the doorbell went.

“Door’s open!” Arthur shouted from the kitchen, and Merlin had about two seconds warning before Gwen bustled into the hallway in a cloud of ruffling pages.

“Alright, Merlin?  I’ve brought all of my notes since the last exam, and I’m not sure how much you’ll need but it’ll be a good review, at any rate,” she said in greeting, hooking her arm into Merlin’s and practically dragging him into the sitting room.  “Did you get those skull scans Monmouth emailed?  He was hinting pretty heavily that we would have to identify battle wounds, if you haven’t looked then we could start there—“

“Alright,” Merlin said weakly, sliding onto the sofa.  Gwen smiled at him, and kept nattering on.  Merlin stared at her, already starting to accept his upcoming failure, when a mug of tea was shoved under his nose, and Arthur was smirking down at him.

“There.  Now you won’t be completely useless,” he teased, and Merlin kicked at him half-heartedly.  He was somehow unsurprised after his first sip to discover both that the tea was exactly how he liked it, and that he really was able to focus better.  Gwen charged forward, armed with her multitude of printed articles, text references, and scans, and together they buckled down for business.  By the time Arthur joined them to do his own studying, they were elbow deep in notes, and Merlin was starting to think he might actually pass.

“—not sure what could have done the damage to this one,” Gwen said, peering closely at a scan of a heavily damaged skull.  “Poleaxe, d’you think?”

“Could be, if it’s a Towton victim,” Merlin agreed.  “We probably don’t have to identify it exactly, you know.  We just need to know weapons used in general.”

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared,” Gwen pointed out, setting the scan aside to rifle through her bag.  “Do you have that book we read a few weeks back?  I think I left mine at home.”

“Should do.  It’s just in my room, I’ll go grab it,” Merlin said, making to stand, but Gwen beat him to it.

“No, don’t be silly, I can manage,” she said, breezing past before Merlin could stop her.  “I’ll just have a look—“

“No!” Merlin practically shouted, sending the article he’d been reading fluttering to the floor in his haste to stop her.  “I mean,” he amended hastily at Gwen and Arthur’s startled looks, “er, my room’s a tip, you’d never be able to find it.  Let me.”

He pasted on a smile and hurried into the hallway, missing the significant look Arthur gave Gwen completely.  He was careful to shield their view of his room as he slipped inside, returning Aithusa’s inquisitive trill with a hurried smile.  The book, he knew, was sitting front and center on his shelf, but he paused to give Aithusa some attention before rejoining Gwen in the sitting room.

“You know, keeping a secret dragon in your bedroom isn’t as easy as you’d think,” he remarked quietly, watching Aithusa’s eyes drift shut contentedly as he scratched her.  “Maybe they didn’t notice anything weird?”

Aithusa trilled, which Merlin took to mean ‘ _Of course they noticed, you idiot_.’  He sighed.

“Right.  This is all your fault, you know,” he added conversationally, but Aithusa just purred, so Merlin figured she didn’t mind.  “Well, here goes nothing.”

He slipped back into the hall.  Gwen was sitting down again, but instead of reading her notes she was deep in conversation with Arthur.  Their voices were too low for Merlin to hear much, but he managed to catch Gwen’s whispered, “—sure there’s a reason, Arthur, we can’t just assume,” before they noticed him, and they cut themselves off abruptly.

“Got the book,” Merlin announced, holding it up.  Gwen’s quick smile wasn’t quite enough to disguise the way she’d been chewing her lip.

“Thank you, Merlin,” she said brightly.  Arthur continued to say nothing, and when Merlin glanced at him he as staring into the distance with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Yeah, no problem,” he said slowly.  “Erm, sorry about—“ He made a vague gesture in the direction of his room.  “I haven’t had time to clean lately.  I found the book buried under a week’s worth of scarves.”

“Oh, no, of course.”  Gwen smiled, and there was still something off about it that Merlin couldn’t quite place.  He frowned at her, then at Arthur.

“Is everything alright?”

He didn’t miss the quick glance they threw each other before Gwen hurried to assure him, “Of course it is.  Arthur was just telling me—“

She bit her lip, as if she wasn’t sure what to say, but Arthur finished for her.

“I was just saying how much of a slob you’ve become recently,  _Mer_ lin,” he drawled, flipping a page in his textbook idly.  “Gwen’s just too polite to say so.”

“I’m not a slob,” Merlin protested.  Arthur snorted.

“The last time I went in your room my foot got stuck in a jumper, and you couldn’t see the dresser for clothes—“

“Don’t exaggerate.  Besides,  _you’re_  the one that keeps leaving his shoes everywhere for me to trip over,” Merlin pointed out.  “Prat.”

“Boys,” Gwen said warningly, “you can debate who the sloppier flatmate is later.  Right now we have studying to do.”

Suitably chastised, Merlin and Arthur both picked up their books, though Merlin couldn’t resist sticking his tongue out when Gwen had her head turned.  Arthur gave him a scathing look in response, and the balance seemed to have been restored to their group.

\---

A few weeks later, Merlin woke to the sounds of someone banging around in the kitchen.  He groaned and shoved his head under a pillow, which was harder and pointier than it should have been.  Blinking blearily, he lifted his head just enough to squint and found that he’d fallen asleep on his textbook.  Again.  He shoved it out of the way just enough to let himself faceplant back onto the mercifully soft pillow.

He managed to doze for another ten minutes before something nudged his foot, and then again, more insistently, when he just grumbled and retreated further into his blankets.

"Aithusa," he sighed, "it's too early for this."

In answer Aithusa just whistled impatiently.  When Merlin finally brought his head out from under his pillow, he saw that she wasn't even looking at him.  Instead she had her eyes fixed on the door, nose raised like it was when she was hunting.  Merlin sniffed, confused, and rolled his eyes when he smelled the bacon that had caught her attention.

"That's what you woke me up for?  Breakfast?  Didn't you eat enough last night?" he grumbled.  Again, Aithusa just whistled, not even bothering to use their mental connection.

Another push against his foot forced Merlin out of his daydreaming.

"Alright already, keep your hair on.  I'm going."

Aithusa purred and scampered off of the bed for the closet while Merlin rolled off of the bed.  Out of habit, he checked to see that Aithusa was out of sight before yanking open the door, and made sure to shut it tight behind him.  He followed the smell of bacon and burning toast into the kitchen, where Arthur was standing at the stove.  He took a moment to appreciate the sight.  Arthur had clearly gone running that morning, his hair still damp from the shower.  He was wearing an old t-shirt which stretched across his shoulders, and Merlin gave him a full minute of staring at the muscles moving beneath it before he spoke up

“Gwen will never believe me when I tell her you were actually cooking.”

“Christ, Merlin, you scared the shit out of me,” Arthur hissed, glaring at Merlin over his shoulder.  Merlin smiled.

"Embarrassed at being caught cooking more like," he teased.  Arthur just grunted, which made Merlin laugh.  He plopped himself down into one of the chairs at the table and fixed Arthur with an innocent, expectant look.

Arthur rolled his eyes.  "At least get the plates if you're going to steal my breakfast,  _Mer_ lin."

"It's a bit late for breakfast," Merlin pointed out as he leapt up to fetch the plates and forks.  "Don't you think?"

"That's what you get for being a lazy arse and not getting out of bed until noon."

"You made this for me?  I'm touched, Arthur," Merlin said, only teasing a little bit.  Arthur just grunted again and poked the eggs.  Merlin narrowed his eyes at him.  "It's not poisoned, is it?"

"Just eat it, idiot," he ordered, and plopped a healthy portion of eggs on Merlin's plate.

"Yes, sir," Merlin saluted, expertly avoiding Arthur's elbow jab and returning to the table.  He dug in eagerly, savoring each bite.  One of the first things he'd learned about Arthur when they'd moved in together was that he had a Big List of Super-Secret Talents, and cooking was definitely one of them when he could be coaxed into the kitchen.  It was one of Merlin’s favourite things about Arthur, that this secret part of him was just for Merlin to see.

When Arthur's back was turned, Merlin directed a glance at the plate of bacon.  A few pieces leapt off the plate and hovered there.  Merlin blinked, and the bits of meat skittered off in the direction of his bedroom.  A second later, Arthur turned around to join Merlin at the table.

"So who were you talking to earlier?" he asked, settling in the chair opposite Merlin, who stopped chewing abruptly.

"Wha'?"

"Swallow before you talk, Merlin," Arthur sighed.  "I heard you talking to someone in your room this morning."

Merlin swallowed too quickly and nearly choked on his eggs.  He coughed, earning himself a concerned look from Arthur before he choked out, "You heard me?"

Arthur nodded, still looking at him strangely.  "I was just coming to wake you up for breakfast and I heard you through the door.  I left before I heard anything.  I didn't think any conversations of yours would be worth eavesdropping on."

Merlin managed an eye roll.  His heart, which had sped up at the thought of Arthur hearing him talking to Aithusa, began to even out.  "It was just my mum.  Sorry I'm not exciting enough."

He expected a prattish comment about how Arthur would never have accused him of being exciting, but instead Arthur gave him a half-shrug and attacked his toast with a butter knife.  Merlin watched him for a moment, bemused.

"You know, you don't have to kill toast," he said eventually.  Arthur looked at him, brow wrinkled.

"What nonsense are you spouting now?" he asked, and that was so much more like the Arthur Merlin knew that he almost smiled.

"Nothing, you arse.  Just eat your breakfast."

For a while, there were no sounds in the kitchen other than their forks hitting the plate between bouts of chewing.  Merlin sent out a tendril of magic to check on Aithusa, who was happily munching on her own breakfast and would be content for quite a while yet.  Satisfied with that, he turned back to Arthur.

"So what's the plan for today?  I feel like I haven't seen everyone in ages."

"That's because you haven't.  Gwen was convinced I'd killed you and hidden the body," Arthur replied.  Merlin just rolled his eyes.  "We were all going to meet for a pint this evening, if you want to join us."

Merlin chewed thoughtfully.  He could probably get away with not taking Aithusa hunting for one night.  She’d been doing well, one night off wouldn’t harm anybody.  “Pub sounds great,” he agreed finally, swallowing his last mouthful of egg.  Arthur smirked at him.

“Great.  Now you can wash the dishes, since I was nice enough to make breakfast.”

“What?  No fair, I didn’t  _ask_ you to cook,” Merlin whinged, mostly for show.  He knew he’d give in eventually and just magic the plates clean when Arthur wasn’t around, but Arthur didn’t know that.

“Tough.”  How Arthur managed to smirk haughtily while shoveling eggs into his mouth, Merlin would never know.  Merlin grumbled some more and made a big show of bringing his dishes to the sink, which just made Arthur smirk even harder, before finishing off his breakfast and flouncing out of the kitchen, leaving Merlin alone to deal with the clean-up.

It only took about two minutes for him to spell the dishes clean, and another one to put them back into the cupboards by hand (he'd learned his lesson about mixing his magic with sharp or breakable objects years ago).  Arthur's door was still closed, do he grabbed his laptop and settled into the sitting room.

He had a few unread messages, most of them from school that could be put off until later.  Beneath a link from Will that Merlin would ignore until he was certain Arthur wouldn't catch him was a reply from Gaius in their ongoing email chain about Aithusa.  He clicked on it eagerly.

_Merlin—_

_It sounds to me like Aithusa is progressing as quickly as she can without another dragon to guide her. Your magic seems to be a satisfactory enough surrogate, so I do not think we have much cause for worry just yet.  Her progress in your mental connection is certainly promising._

_Even so, I would rest easier if I had the chance to observe her for myself, sooner rather than later.  I can give you the rest of this weekend, if you are available_.

Merlin let out a small sigh.  He'd be lying if he said he wouldn't be relieved to have an extra pair of eyes on his dragon, even if just for a day, and was already tapping out a reply when Arthur's door opened and he stepped out into the hall.

"How did you finish so quickly?" he said, blinking in surprise.

"Magic," Merlin replied with a dramatic eye roll.  Arthur huffed and threw himself onto the sofa, making the laptop bounce.

"Anything interesting going on?" he asked with a nod at the computer.  "You have your thoughtful face on."

"My uncle Gaius wants to visit tomorrow.  I know it's last minute, but..."  Merlin shrugged.  "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course I don't," Arthur replied in a strangely gruff voice.  There was a peculiar look on his face when Merlin looked up at him.  It disappeared the moment he noticed Merlin watching him, too quickly for Merlin to identify it.

"Alright then, thanks," Merlin said, slowly.  Arthur nodded stiffly and turned to stare at the telly.  Merlin looked at him for another moment, and was just about to ask Arthur if he realized he'd forgotten to turn the telly on when he broke the silence.

"Is everything alright?" he asked very quietly.  Merlin blinked.

"What?  Is...everything's fine?” he replied, lifting the end of the sentence like a question.  He gave a half-hearted smile and knew almost without looking at him that Arthur didn’t fall for it.

“…yeah, alright,” Arthur said after a moment in that same awkward, quiet tone.  “Just…you’d tell me if something was wrong?”

Merlin opened his mouth, and for a second he almost just blurted it out.  Every secret he’d been holding for months was on the tip of his tongue.  But instead, he just pasted on another smile and said, “Yeah, ‘course.    Why, what makes you think...?"

Arthur shrugged.  "Nothing.  Just, your family never just comes over like this."  He shoved at Merlin's hip with his bare foot and gave him a cheeky smile.  "And after all your bitching about  _my_  family."

“ _Your_  family is terrifying.  And has zero concept of personal space," Merlin retorted, earning himself a laugh from Arthur.

"Shut up," Arthur said, and finally turned to turn the telly on.  Merlin made a fuss when he immediately switched onto a match, but allowed him to keep it on, like he always did, the awkward moment forgotten.

\---

It had been a long time since Merlin had been round to the pub.  Really, really long.  Stupidly long, even.  He couldn't remember a single reason for his extended absence, either, not with a drink in his hand and his cheeks red from laughter (or possibly from said drink—maybe even both).  But as tipsy as he was, he had nothing on Arthur, who'd gotten into a drinking contest with Gwaine of all people about ten minutes after they'd arrived and hadn't slowed down since.

"Merrrlin," Arthur slurred, throwing a sloppy arm around Merlin's shoulder.  His fist collided with the drink Elyan had just finished, which wobbled precariously but managed to stay standing.  " _Mer_ lin."

"Yes, Arthur?"

"I," Arthur began, sucking in in a deep breath like he was holding in a secret, "am drunk."  
  
Merlin laughed, along with most of the table, as Arthur hadn't bothered to lower his voice.  "I'd say so, mate," he agreed, meeting Leon's amused glance over Arthur's shoulder.  Arthur huffed.

"'s all Gwaine's fault.  Gwaine 'n fucking  _whiskey_ ," he grumbled.

"Gwaine seems to be doing fine," Elyan pointed out, and they all turned to look at Gwaine, who was flirting easily with a blonde woman at the bar, his face barely even flushed despite the many pints he had under his belt.

"To be fair, though, Gwaine's sort of super human when it comes to alcohol," Leon said, and they all nodded.

Eventually, after Gwaine had left with the blonde and Arthur had switched to water, they decided to call it a night.  Merlin stumbled over the doorstep as they all filed out, and laughed when Lance caught him.

"Easy there," Lance said good-naturedly.

"Christ, I'm out of practice.  I hardly drank anything and I'm tripping over my own feet," Merlin laughed back.

"You always trip over your own feet," Lance pointed out.  Merlin made a face at him, which Lance just ignored.  "It really was good seeing you, though, Merlin.  Gwen was getting worried.  We all were," he added, glancing over to where Leon and Arthur were hailing cabs. Merlin dragged up a smile.

"Nothing to worry about.  I was just busy," he said, and he was pretty sure the sick, twinging sensation in his belly had less to do with the amount of alcohol in it and more to do with lying to his friends.  “Besides, I saw Leon just this week.  And I see Gwen all the time in lecture.”

Lance smiled softly back.  "Just take care of yourself, yeah?" he said, and clapped Merlin on the shoulder briefly before walking over to Gwen.

Arthur was mostly quiet on the cab ride home.  He draped himself over Merlin, like he always did when he was drunk as Merlin struggled to get them into the flat.  He managed, with absolutely no help from Arthur, and kicked the door shut behind them.

"Jesus, you're getting fat," Merlin bitched, his shoulder starting to ache from Arthur's weight.

"'m not  _fat_ ,  _Mer_ lin," Arthur grunted.  "You're just too skinny."

"If you say so," Merlin snorted.  "Come on, let's get you some water and then get you in bed."

"Mmm, bed," Arthur repeated happily.  He followed Merlin into the kitchen easily enough, and Merlin propped him against the counter to grab a glass.  He'd just stuck it under the tap when he felt a warm body press heavily against his back, and a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

"Merrrlin," Arthur purred, close enough for his breath to tickle Merlin's ears.  Merlin squirmed, but that only made Arthur hold on tighter. Finally, Merlin reached back to slap Arthur's thigh lightly.

"Shift over, you arse.  You're getting whiskey breath on me."

He had about two seconds of warning before Arthur was in his face, and he squealed and almost fell, laughing and trying to bat Arthur away.

"God, gross, get off me!" he laughed, and was thoroughly unsurprised when Arthur just smirked and came closer.  "Arthur!"

"Say uncle," Arthur demanded, pressing his fingers against Merlin's ticklish spot.

"Fuck, uncle!  Uncle!" Merlin bit out between bursts of helpless laughter.  Arthur stopped tickling him, but he didn't let go.  Instead, he just looked at Merlin, still standing uncomfortably close.  Merlin looked back, a little confused but not concerned, until one of Arthur's hands came up to cradle his chin, thumb stroking along his jaw and he blinked.  "Arthur?"

"I miss you, Merlin," Arthur sighed, quiet like it was a secret.

"What do you mean?  I'm right here."

"I don't mean  _now_ , Merlin," Arthur retorted with a roll of his eyes like Merlin was the one not making sense.  "I mean...recently.  You're being all weird and...and secret-y."

"I'm an open book," Merlin quipped, but the words sounded false even to his own ears.

"Merlin," Arthur sighed, and he sounded so sad Merlin opened his mouth, to say what he didn't know, but it didn't matter because the next second Arthur swayed forward to press their lips together.

Merlin froze.  He wasn't sure if his brain did, too, or if it was just suddenly buzzing with so many thoughts he couldn't grasp a single one, but it didn't matter because  _Arthur was kissing him_.

The kiss couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, but when Arthur pulled away Merlin's heart was beating like he'd run a mile.  He stared at Arthur, but Arthur wasn't looking at him.  It wasn't until he took a step back that Merlin realized he wasn't holding him either, and by then Arthur was halfway out of the kitchen.  Merlin took a step forward, probably to do something stupid like chase after him, but forced himself to stop. He waited until he heard the soft  _click_  of Arthur's door shutting, and slumped heavily against the counter, head in his hands.

His heart was still pounding frantically in his chest.  Arthur had  _kissed_  him.  And it hadn't been a dream.  Merlin could still feel the warmth of him on his lips, real in a way it hadn't ever been in any of the countless dreams he'd had about it since they’d met.   Arthur had kissed  _him_.

But...he'd been drunk, too.  And that thought was at least half of the reason for Merlin's pounding heartbeat.  Arthur had always been handsy when he was drunk.  Perhaps this was just the natural progression of things, a quick peck between friends (had it been quick though? Merlin wasn't even sure of  _that_ ).  He might not even remember it in the morning.

"Shit," Merlin sighed, letting his head fall into his hands.  "Fucking bloody...shit."

Eventually, he forced himself to straighten.  He shuffled out of the kitchen, but not before filling a glass of water and leaving it on the table next to some paracetamol for Arthur come morning.  Arthur's door was still firmly closed when Merlin passed, which was good, because even a drunk Arthur would have noticed a dragon chirrup concernedly and stick his head into the hallway to nuzzle Merlin's leg the instant Merlin opened his door.

Merlin glanced over his shoulder in panicked instinct even as he gently shushed the dragon, shooing her back inside with calming hands.

"Shh, Aithusa, it's alright," he said with false cheer, cursing himself.  He hadn't been paying attention to what he'd been letting cross their psychic link.  "It was nothing."

Aithusa didn't seen entirely convinced, but after a few more minutes of petting she calmed down.  Merlin sat back on his heels to consider his options.  He was wide awake and depressingly sober, with no chance of getting any sleep any time soon, and Aithusa was full of energy.  Neither of them would be hurt by a few hours of fresh air.  And Merlin desperately needed to think.  He reached out to scratch under Aithusa’s jaw.

"Alright, come on.  Let's get you to the park, yeah?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on [my lj](http://silverwings2020.livejournal.com/7124.html).

Merlin woke up late the next morning, tired and hungover.  He wallowed in self-pity for a full minute before he remembered Arthur and their drunken kiss the night before.  He jumped out of bed, almost toppled straight to the ground due to his pounding head, and groped around for something to put on over his boxers before he realized that the pounding he was hearing wasn't just in his head.  There was someone at the door.

 

"Coming," he shouted, shoving his legs into the first pair of trousers he found and stumbling out into the hallway.  He couldn't resist looking towards Arthur's door, but it was still firmly shut.  Another impatient knock on the door prevented Merlin from checking to see if Arthur was still in. He hurried over to the door of the flat and yanked it open before whoever it was could knock again.  "Sorry, I was just—Uncle  Gaius?"

"Are you expecting someone else?" Gaius asked in greeting, eyebrow already firmly raised at his nephew.

"Er, no, no.”  Merlin pasted on a smile and tried not to make it too obvious that he’d completely forgotten about his uncle’s visit.  “I was just, erm.  Well, I was sleeping, actually," he admitted sheepishly.  Gaius looked amused.

"I took the earliest train in.  I thought we might need the full day to discuss things."

"Right, right," Merlin nodded, before realizing that the hallway might not be the best place for such discussions.  "Come on in.  Do you want to see her now?"

"No.  I think we should talk first.  I want to have your opinion before I see her myself."

Merlin nodded, leading the way into the kitchen.  The glass he'd left out last night had been drained and moved into the sink.  Arthur had obviously been through, but there was no sign of him now.  Merlin tried not to think about what that might mean as he took his uncle’s coat.

"Here should be fine.  I don't think Arthur's in, but just in case, we'll have more privacy here than the sitting room."

"Good."  Gaius settled in at the table.  Merlin followed suit.  "Now tell me, my boy.  What have you been noticing?  Any causes for alarm?"

"Nothing really.  We just went out last night, and she seemed fine.  I just...I don't know if she's as far along as she should be.  She hasn't really flown yet and our link is pretty limited.  She’s gotten better at sending images, like I said, but usually none of it makes sense.  She's already a few months old, surely she should be further than this."

Gaius hummed thoughtfully.  "There is nothing I have researched that indicates we have anything to worry about.  As I told you before, her growth patterns won't be the same without another dragon to help her.  Your magic is doing what it can."

"Is it helping enough, though?" Merlin asked.  "I mean, she should at least be talking, shouldn't she?"

"A dragon in the wild would normally progress much faster," Gaius said slowly.  "I think, considering that you are her primary example, that her beginning to communicate with images is the equivalent of a human child starting to babble. I have no concerns regarding her ability to talk.  I am much more interested in her progress in flying."

"There hasn't been any progress," Merlin said truthfully.  "Sometimes she jumps and sort of...glides, but that's about it."

"I see."  Gaius scratched his chin, thoughtful.  "Have you tried teaching her by example?"

"And how am I supposed to do that?  I don't exactly have wings to demonstrate with," Merlin pointed out, holding out his decidedly non-wing-like arms for good measure.  Gaius waved an impatient hand.

"Of course you don't.  But what about letting her fall?  From some distance, preferably."

"What, just dropping her off a tree or something?" Merlin asked, horrified at the very thought.  
  
"Eventually.  Perhaps just from your arms to start with.  Her instincts are there, they just have to be awakened."

"Like mine, you mean.  Fat load of good they've been," Merlin said glumly.  He let his head fall to pillow on his arms.  "I'm supposed to be this great dragonlord, and I can't even teach one to fly."

It was perhaps the still-present headache that was making him feel so maudlin (Merlin never had perfected self-healing with his magic), but Merlin couldn't help feeling like a bit of a failure.  Gaius put a hand on his shoulder.

"You've done well, my boy.  Far better than most would have in your position." Merlin gave him a weak smile.  "Nothing could ever have prepared you for this, but you've accepted it and done your best. I'm proud of you."

Merlin might have said something in reply, if the door hadn't flown open before Gaius could even finish and Arthur fell into the hall.  Gaius and Merlin both froze when Arthur caught sight of them.  His eyes flicked between the two of them and then dropped to Gaius’ hand still on Merlin’s arm.  An odd look passed over his face for a brief second before he replaced it with a polite smile.

"Sorry to interrupt.  I'll be out of your hair in a moment."

"No need," Gaius said when Merlin just continued to stare, feeling like his stomach had turned to stone.  "We were just going to get some fresh air.  Weren't we, Merlin?"

He gave Merlin a significant look, and Merlin nodded dumbly.  He wanted desperately to say something, but he knew he couldn’t until Gaius was gone, so instead he just stayed silent.  Arthur was looking at him, and Merlin could still see a flicker of that strange expression he’d been seeing more and more of lately in his eyes, like Merlin was some sort of stranger he thought he'd known.

"I'll leave you to it then," Arthur said slowly.  "Good to see you again, Gaius."

He left, but the weight on Merlin's chest didn't.  Luckily Gaius didn't seem to notice the tension, or if he did, he was ignoring it.

"Alright, let's see to this dragon of yours.  Where do you usually take her to train?"

Merlin swallowed, finally looking away from the empty doorway.  Arthur would have to wait.  "The woods near the park."

"Good.  To the park it is, then."

\---

"Beautiful.  I never imagined I would see a dragon."

Merlin smiled at Gaius' praise.  Aithusa preened.  It had taken her a while to warm up to Gaius after they'd gotten to the park, but now she easily allowed herself to be bundled into his arms and shifted around for him to examine her.

"She is in perfect health.  You've done well, Merlin."

"Thank you," Merlin replied.  He was even starting to believe it, after their training session today.  With Gaius' help, he'd managed to get Aithusa to open and flap her wings for more than just balance, and even to control her gliding when released to the ground.  He grinned when Aithusa chirruped and batted Gaius with a wing for pressing against a sensitive spot.

"There you go," Gaius said finally, allowing Aithusa to flap out of his arms, where she immediately toddled over to where Merlin was sitting against a tree.  "As far as I can tell, there is nothing preventing her from learning to properly fly except practice.  It will take time, but it will happen.  Seems to me we’ll have a fine young dragon on our hands in no time."

“Excellent,” Merlin said with a happy smile and a scratch to Aithusa's head.  The dragon chirped, as if in agreement.  Merlin chuckled at her before a thought occurred to him.  “How big do you think she’ll grow?”

“It depends.  The legends speak of dragons large enough to rival houses of the fine nobility,” Gaius said, eyeing Aithusa critically, “but also those that could be ridden and stored like horses.  Aithusa’s legs don’t seem to be distributed for a great amount of mass, nor are her claws overly large.  I think it’s safe to say that she will not be amongst the largest of her kin, but she may grow to considerable size nonetheless.”

“And what about breathing fire?”

“I’d say we have a few months before we have to worry about that, at least,” Gaius assured him, drawing his coat closer around himself.  Merlin smiled in relief.

“Good.  I was starting to think I’d have to fireproof the flat.”

“Not quite yet, no.  However, Merlin..."  Gaius sighed and crossed his arms before fixing Merlin with a serious gaze.  "I think it may be time to start thinking about where we will move her.  She cannot live in your flat forever."

"I-I know."  Merlin swallowed.  He had known this, but somewhere along the line he'd managed to grow attached to the dragon.  "Do you, um...do you have any ideas?"

"I have an old friend who may help us.  He owns plenty of land for her to explore, even when she starts flying on her own.  And he could be trusted with the secret."

"You're sure?"

"Yes.  Iseldir is a good man.  His ancestors were druids, and he has maintained their lifestyles.  He will take good care of her."

Merlin nodded.  Gaius gave him an inscrutable look, and Merlin felt uncomfortably like he was being read.  Finally, Gaius spoke.

"Iseldir's farm is just a little way by train from here.  Aithusa will still need you and your magic for a while yet.  Just because she will no longer be living under your roof does not mean you are completely freed of the responsibility.”

Merlin snorted, seeing through his act immediately. "Of course not.  I am, after all, the last dragonlord."

Gaius' smile was small, but present.  “So you are, my boy.”

Between them, Aithusa whistled.

\---

Gaius left that afternoon.  Merlin returned to his flat after dropping him off at the station, nerves jittering around in his stomach at the thought of seeing Arthur again.  He’d managed to distract himself all day, but now he had no choice but to think about it.

The thing was, he didn’t know  _what_  to think about it.

He forced himself to calm down after his nerves made Aithusa fidget in her carry case, until he got to his door and felt them rise again.  He almost groaned aloud when he opened the door and found the flat empty once more.  Most of him just wanted to get his inevitable confrontation with Arthur out of the way, but clearly that would have to wait.  Instead he just went into his bedroom to drop off a sleepy Aithusa, and then retreated to the kitchen to drown his nerves in food.

He didn't even make it down the hallway before the door to Arthur's bedroom creaked open, and Arthur himself stepped out in front of him.  Merlin froze automatically, Arthur's name falling from his lips in a squeak.

"Are you ever going to tell me?" Arthur said, not even looking at Merlin.  And it was probably that that made Merlin's mouth snap shut more than anything, because Arthur always looked everyone in the eye.  But now he was staring at the floor, as if the worn carpet leading out to the sitting room was suddenly the most puzzling thing he'd ever seen.  Whatever was on his mind, it was more important than a drunken kiss.

"What are you talking about?" Merlin finally ventured.  Arthur's face hardened, but he still didn't look up.

"Do you think I haven't noticed?  You're my best mate, Merlin, I notice things.  Like how you've been acting strangely for months now.  You're hiding something from me."

"I...Arthur, it’s not—“

"Don't lie to me," Arthur interrupted, finally looking up.  Merlin was bewildered by the sadness that was in his eyes, buried beneath anger but still definitely there.  "I know you are.  I'm not stupid.  I just want to hear it from you."

Merlin felt like throwing up.  He thought he'd been so careful, but of course Arthur had seen something.  He  _wasn't_  stupid, and Merlin had been careless, sometimes, trusting Arthur's obtuseness to hide his trail instead of using his magic to ensure it.  He was stuck.

"I know you're not," he tried, "but Arthur, honestly.  What would I have said?”

"I'm supposed to be your best friend!" Arthur huffed.  "What good is it if you won't even let me help you?”

"I couldn't!" Merlin insisted.

"Why the fuck not?  You know I would’ve helped you.”

"How on earth could I have possibly known that?" Merlin retorted.  “It’s not like this is some normal thing.”  Arthur glared at him.

"If you had just trusted me—“

“I  _do_  trust you!” Merlin said, frustrated now.  “This wasn’t about you, Arthur.  I wanted to say something—“

“Obviously not, or you would have said something before,” Arthur scoffed, and honestly Merlin didn’t know what to say to that.  “I was worried about you, you idiot—“

“I’m not an idiot!”`

“Well you’re acting like one!  You should have told me.”

"I couldn't bloody just  _say it_ , could I, you entitled arse—“

"I think I deserve to know that my so-called best mate is sick!" Arthur finally roared, loud enough that Merlin would have flinched if the words themselves hadn't left him feeling cold.  Even his magic, which had been roiling angrily under his skin this whole time, stopped still.  The only thing that seemed to be moving was Merlin’s heart, beating double time as if to compensate for being broken.

Arthur knew.  And Arthur thought he was wrong for it.   _Sick_.

“I heard you on the phone with your mother,” Arthur went on, quieter now but still with that angry undercurrent, “going on about how you didn’t choose any of this.  It took me a while to put it together, but how could I not have noticed?  I’ve been waiting for you to tell me for weeks so I can help you get rid of this.”

Merlin sobbed, feeling like his heart was trying to beat its way up his throat.  “Arthur, I can’t just get rid of it, it’s a part of me—“

“Like hell it is,” Arthur hissed fiercely, stalking forward so that there were only inches between them.  “I will not let you just live it out, Merlin, I  _won’t_.”

“Arthur,  _please_ , listen to me—“ Merlin began, and Arthur grabbed Merlin by the arm, harder than he normally would have, and Merlin couldn’t help the startled “Arthur!” let out as he took a step back.

“I don’t want to hear excuses, Merlin, I just want to help—“

“There’s nothing to help with!  Arthur,  _stop_!”

A loud bang made them both jump before anything else could be said, and Merlin twisted around in time to see Aithusa charging out of Merlin’s open bedroom door.  Merlin put his hands out to stop her, shouting her name, but she paid him no mind.  She planted herself firmly between him and Arthur, spreading her wings and baring her fangs.  Arthur’s eyes went huge with shock as he scrambled out of her way.

“Aithusa!” Merlin shouted, letting a little bit of power bleed into the words this time.  Aithusa glanced at him, but otherwise ignored him and took another step towards Arthur.  Merlin swallowed.  “Aithusa,  _gnógr._ ”

Aithusa did stop then, but she let out a whine to show she wasn’t happy about it.  Merlin hardly heard her.  He was too busy staring at Arthur as the gold of his eyes faded, watching the shock-horror-fear tumble over his face. 

“What—“ he began, staring from Aithusa to Merlin and back again.  “What—Merlin what the fuck?”

“I can explain,” Merlin insisted, hurriedly placing himself between Arthur and Aithusa.  Arthur looked torn between punching him and running from the room, and he was staring at Merlin like he’d grown a second head.  “She won’t hurt you,” Merlin continued, taking a step forward.  Arthur automatically stepped away, and Merlin felt his heart break again.  “Arthur, please.  I-I was born like this.  I didn’t choose—“

“ _This_  is your secret,” Arthur said wonderingly, turning sharply to stare at Merlin again.  “You have magic.”

It wasn’t a question, but Merlin answered anyway.  “Yes.”

Arthur swallowed visibly.  “All this time, I thought…but it was just—“

He cut himself off this time, bringing a hand up to rub over his mouth.  Merlin bit his lip.

“I wanted to tell you, Arthur, but I didn’t know how, a-and I just…”  Merlin swallowed again, blinking against the tears building up in his eyes.  Aithusa purred supportively at him, wary gaze on Arthur.  “I’m still Merlin.  I’ve always been this way.  It’s not sick, or evil— _I’m_ not.  I promise.”

Arthur looked like he’d been slapped.

“Merlin, I—fuck,” he swore, and suddenly he’d closed the distance between them in two fast steps.  Merlin hardly had time to blink before Arthur was in his face, one hand on each of his shoulders and a painfully earnest look on his face.  Aithusa snarled in warning, and Arthur flinched, but he didn’t loosen his grip.

“I’ve known about magic since I was seven years old,” Arthur said seriously, and Merlin would have jerked in surprise if Arthur hadn’t been holding him so firmly.  “My sister has…dreams.  That come true.  Sometimes she can do things with her mind.  I wasn’t talking about your magic when I said you were sick.  I didn’t even know about it then.”

But that…didn’t make sense.  “What the fuck  _were_ you talking about, then?”

Arthur didn’t answer right away.  His eyes flicked down to Aithusa first, clearly uncomfortable.  He bit his lip, and Merlin was almost overcome with the desire to lean in and suck it into his own mouth, in spite of his anger.  Adrenaline and magic was coursing through him, making him feel a little reckless and a lot giddy, but then—

“I thought you were dying,” Arthur said quietly, so quietly Merlin almost didn’t hear it.

“ _What_?” he rasped, completely taken aback.  Arthur’s eyes shut as if he was in pain.

“You’ve been acting so weird for months and I didn’t know why.  You hadn’t said anything to anyone.  I just knew suddenly you were avoiding me and having weird conversations with your family all the time and being all secretive.  And you were tired all the time, and I thought…I thought you were sick and were just afraid to tell me.”  He opened his eyes, and Merlin was shocked to see the beginning of tears glimmering in the corners.

“Arthur,” he started, but what could he say?  He’d never seen Arthur like this.  Arthur’s hands were still on his shoulders, and he could feel them shaking ever so slightly.  Slowly, he lifted his own hands and placed them overtop, pressing gently as if in reassurance.  Arthur laughed raggedly.

“I had no idea about the magic,” he admitted, still quiet.  “And I didn’t until a bloody dragon ran into my sitting room.”

“Shit,” Merlin said, because apparently multi-word sentences were beyond him at the moment.  Arthur gave him a wry smile.

“You can imagine my surprise, I’m sure.”

Merlin wanted to laugh, even though absolutely nothing about this was funny.  “Arthur, I don’t…what made you think…?”

“Lots of things,” Arthur shrugged.  “I overheard you talking to your family sometimes, like I said.  At first I thought it was just my imagination, but then Gwen started noticing things like you falling asleep in lecture, and it just seemed to fit.  It never even occurred to me that you might have magic.”

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin finally said.  “I didn’t know.”

Arthur released Merlin’s shoulders in order to run his hand through his hair, looking worn out.  Aithusa whined softly, and Merlin automatically shot her a reassuring smile.

“It’s alright, Aithusa,” he said even as Arthur winced and stared down at her.  “ _Wéðan_.”

He didn’t miss Arthur’s sharp intake of breath at that, but when he looked at him he didn’t look scared.

“You really do have magic,” he breathed, wide-eyed, and then he laughed, somewhere between relieved and manic.  After a second, Merlin joined in, and then they were both wheezing for breath and holding onto each other for support.  Aithusa stared between them as if she wasn’t sure how they’d gone from shouting to this, and that just made them laugh harder until she gave up on them and waddled away to explore.

“This is all so fucked,” Arthur groaned once they’d tapered off to hiccups, but were still holding on to each other.  Merlin gigged feebly.

“I have to admit, this is  _not_ how I expected tonight to go.”

“You’re always full of surprises,  _Mer_ lin,” Arthur said, and Merlin smiled at the familiar drawl in his name.

“I’m sorry,” he said more somberly.  “You have no idea.  I wanted to tell you, but…”

Arthur’s mouth quirked up into a tiny, fleeting smile.  “I…understand.  No one outside the family knows about Morgana.”  He huffed a dry laugh, but the fond look he gave Merlin next was genuine.  “Any other secrets I should know about?”

“I’m a dragonlord.  The last, in fact,” Merlin answered immediately.  “I use magic every time I have to do a chore.  I can juggle.  Um.  I’ve wanted to kiss you since Gwen’s party last year.  I accidentally burned your shirt last month.”  Arthur stared at him, eyebrows raised.  Merlin flushed.  “I think that’s all.”

Arthur stared at him some more.  Merlin stared back.

“ _Idiot_ ,” Arthur finally said, with feeling, and kissed him.

It was so much better than their first.  For one, Arthur’s lips didn’t taste like alcohol.  They were warm and a little chapped and Merlin chased the feel of them long past the need for air, before they pulled apart with heavy breaths and wide eyes.

“Um,” Merlin said eloquently.

“You are such an idiot,” Arthur repeated, still standing in Merlin’s space with his hands on his waist.  “I thought you were  _dying_ , and I’d never worked up the courage to tell you I fancy you.  We could have been doing this for  _months_.”

Merlin opened his mouth, but Arthur shut him up with another bruising kiss, muttering, “I could fucking kill you,” and biting his bottom lip.  Merlin kissed back eagerly, and then they were grappling with each other for dominance, though Merlin didn’t honestly care.  He pressed closer, and somehow they managed to fall onto the sofa without injuring themselves.  Arthur slid his hands around to press against the small of Merlin’s back, pulling until Merlin was almost in his lap.  And that was so much better, too, because it allowed Merlin to press himself flush against Arthur.

And then he realized what he was doing.

“Arthur,” he panted, trying to pull away.  “Arthur, wait stop.”

“What?  What is it?” Arthur asked, groaning when Merlin pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“We—we should talk, right?  Before…this?”

“What on earth are you talking about, Merlin?”

“My magic?  And…and Aithusa,” Merlin said.  “We can’t just ignore—“

“Yes we can.  We very much can,” Arthur insisted, sitting up in an attempt to draw Merlin back in.  And it worked, for a moment, before Merlin pushed him away again.

“Arthur, this isn’t just going to go away.”

Arthur groaned heartily.  “Exactly,  _Mer_ lin.  Which means we can talk about it  _after_  I get my hands on your cock.”

Merlin had to force himself not to whimper at the very thought, instead fixing Arthur with a calculating look—or as close to a calculating look as he could manage with his hand sliding under Arthur’s shirt and his jeans tenting over his growing erection.

“You’re sure?  You’re not…still mad at me, or—“

“I am  _furious_  with you,” Arthur cut him off, pressing up into Merlin’s hand, “but right now I honestly couldn’t give less of a fuck, so long as you shut up long enough for us to get off.”

“Alright, yeah, good point,” Merlin said, and leaned down to suck a bruise into Arthur’s neck.

Maybe if they hadn’t both been stretched in to many directions tonight they would have gone slower.  Merlin didn’t care anymore.  He’d waited too long, and Arthur kissed like he was afraid Merlin would slip away.  What else could Merlin do but kiss him back.

He sucked kisses into Arthur’s jawline like he’d dreamed of hundreds of times before, hands fisted into his t-shirt.  He could feel Arthur’s heart mirroring his own’s frantic beat, and he tugged Arthur’s shirt up enough to press his lips to it.  Arthur groaned and took his shirt off the rest of the way, and Merlin took the opportunity to look.

He’d seen Arthur shirtless before, obviously, but not like this, with his skin flushed from Merlin’s kisses and his trousers straining with his erection.  And he’d never seen Arthur’s eyes flutter shut the way they did when Merlin rolled his hips.

“Merlin,” Arthur purred, reaching up to drag him into another kiss.  “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

“Do you have stuff?” Merlin asked a little desperately.  He felt Arthur’s moan rumbling in his throat as he nodded, and then he was being scooped up.  He laughed and wrapped his legs around Arthur’s waist as he was carried through the flat, pressing distracting little kisses to Arthur’s face.  Finally, they stumbled, literally, into Arthur’s bedroom, and Arthur dumped Merlin unceremoniously onto the mattress before reaching for his belt.

They undressed themselves, in hurried, jerky movements that conveyed just how much they both wanted this.  There would be time to ogle later.  For now they just fell together against the sheets, touching each other blindly because neither was willing to break their kiss.

Finally, Merlin pulled away.

“Arthur.  Arthur, shit, stop.  Where’s the lube?”

Arthur rolled over to grope around in his drawer, returning to hand Merlin his prize.  Merlin got to his knees and accepted the bottle with a long, slow kiss.

“Do you wanna fuck me?” he asked huskily, stroking the line of hair leading to Arthur’s cock.  Arthur moaned.

“Yeah.”

“Good.  Put that on,” Merlin instructed with a nod to the condom still in Arthur’s hand, and opened the bottle.  He coated his fingers thoroughly before reaching back to circle his hole, pushing lightly a few times just to tease before letting the first finger in.  Arthur watched him hungrily, and Merlin was struck with the thought that this was real, and this was  _Arthur_ , who ran in the mornings and often forgot to pick up after himself, and felt his heart beat harder.

“You like this?” he asked, letting his voice go breathy as he pumped his fingers.  Arthur nodded, still staring.  “Maybe next time I’ll let you do this for me.  I might not even need your cock.  Just your fingers spreading me nice and slow until I come.”

Arthur choked, his hand going to grip his still bare cock.  “Christ.”

“Yeah,” Merlin said, smiling serenely, “I’d like that.  But for now I just want you to watch.”

He let himself lie down before he added the second finger, spreading his legs to give Arthur a perfect view.  Arthur took the hint for what it was and moved in front of Merlin just as Merlin slid his fingers back in.  He heard Arthur’s breathing hitch, and smirked, letting his eyes close to enjoy the feeling.  When he slid his third finger in, he heard the sound of a condom wrapper opening and opened his eyes to watch Arthur give himself a few good strokes.  Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than Arthur’s cock inside him, so he removed his fingers and surged up to meet Arthur.  They kissed messily, too excited to really care, until Arthur let go and moved to lay on his back, hand beckoning in invitation.

Merlin didn’t need telling twice.  He scrambled over to sit himself squarely on Arthur’s lap, taking his cock in hand and guiding it towards his entrance.  Arthur grunted at the first brush against Merlin’s hole, but was otherwise silent as Merlin worked himself down until Arthur was fully sheathed inside him.  He placed his hands on Merlin’s hips while Merlin adjusted, and then used them to guide when Merlin began his first, shallow movements.

It took them a while to find their rhythm.  Merlin rode Arthur slowly, ignoring Arthur’s impatient noises.  But then Arthur thrust up to meet Merlin, and Merlin felt his spine bow in pleasure.

“Arthur,” he gasped, biting his lips at the drag of Arthur’s cock inside him.  “God, you feel so good—“

“Should’ve known you’d still be talkative like this,” Arthur panted back, giving another hard thrust that made Merlin gasp.

“You love it.”

Arthur smiled.  “Yeah,” he laughed softly, and Merlin kissed him for it without stopping the sway of his hips.  He could feel Arthur shifting, bracing against the mattress, and then suddenly he was thrusting faster and deeper into Merlin.  Merlin let out a high whine like something straight out of a porno, but he  _did not care_.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he panted in time with Arthur’s hips, reaching down to take himself in hand.  Arthur moaned at the sight, and Merlin realized he’d stopped riding him, instead holding himself still so Arthur could pound into him.  Arthur’s face was screwed up and flushed in pleasure, and Merlin knew he was close, so he squeezed his muscles around Arthur’s cock, delighting in the surprised moan as Arthur shuddered and came.

“Oh God, yes,” Merlin said, and stroked himself furiously until he came, too, with a drawn-out, “Arthur,  _fuck_.”

He kept his eyes squeezed shut even after he finished, afraid if he opened them the moment would be gone and he’d wake up alone in his own bed.  He was still breathing heavily when a hand brushed over his thigh, and he shivered a little when it came to rest on his hip, thumb rubbing at the crease.

“Merlin,” Arthur’s voice rumbled, and Merlin reluctantly let his eyes open to see Arthur grinning up at him, clearly knowing exactly what he’d been trying to do and fully intending to make fun of him for it.

“Shut up,” he said before Arthur had the chance, and kissed him to ensure he was obeyed.  Arthur’s cock slid out of him when he shifted, and he shivered again.

“You should confess your magic more often if this is what happens,” Arthur panted when they pulled apart, and this time Merlin laughed.

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” he said, and let his eyes flare gold as the come on Arthur’s belly disappeared.  Arthur jumped in surprise, not quite able to hide his shock, before he let out a disbelieving laugh.

“I can’t wait to experiment,” he said, smoothing Merlin’s hair off of his forehead and flicking him gently in the ear.  Merlin made a face and swatted at him, rolling over to press against Arthur’s side.  They kissed again, mostly just because they could, and then Arthur sighed.

“We have lectures in a few hours.”

“Can’t we take a mental health day?  I’d say we deserve one.”

“How irresponsible of you,” Arthur chided teasingly.  Merlin grinned.

“You’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first.”

“Of course,” Arthur rolled his eyes, and planted another kiss to Merlin’s lips.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, Merlin wondered if Arthur was always this tactile, or if it was still leftover relief at finding out Merlin wasn’t in immediate danger of dying.  Either way, he intended to milk it for however long it lasted, and allowed himself to sink into Arthur’s hold happily.

Finally, Arthur moved away again, this time for good.  “Come on,” he said, already starting to roll off the mattress, “I think there’s some leftover lasagna for heating in the fridge.  And you can tell me all about being Harry Potter.”

“I am  _not_  Harry Potter!” Merlin grumbled, and then threw a pillow at his face when all Arthur did was snigger.

\---

When Merlin woke up, it was to late morning sunshine in his face and a very irritated dragon whinging at the door.  He groaned and made to sit up, but there was something keeping him down.  He swatted at it, and it grumbled and tightened around him, and Merlin realized it was an arm.  A second later, a warm pair of lips pressed against his shoulder.

“Do you always wake up your boyfriends by attacking them?” Arthur mumbled sleepily.  Merlin chuckled.

“Only the special ones.”

“Lucky me.”

Merlin smiled, turning to offer Arthur a brief kiss before rolling out of bed.  Arthur made a displeased noise.  “Where are you going?”

“To feed Aithusa before she knocks the door down,” Merlin answered with a fond smile.

“She’s a dragon.  You’re telling me she can’t feed herself?”

“Of course she can.  She just hasn’t mastered the fridge yet.”  Arthur opened his eyes a crack to glare at Merlin, who smiled innocently.  “Go back to sleep.  I’ll be right back.”

This time, Merlin was allowed to stand.  Arthur immediately spread into his vacated spot, face pressed firmly into the pillows.  Merlin shot him a fond smile as he opened the door.  Immediately, Aithusa snorted up at him, radiating irritation.

“I know, I slept in,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes.  “Keep your scales on.”

Aithusa flapped her wings pointedly before stomping towards the kitchen.  Merlin followed, digging her food out from its hiding place.  While she munched happily, Merlin set about making tea.  He’d just finished—one sugar for Arthur, two for Merlin, and a dash of milk for both—when Arthur walked in, yawning hugely and heading straight for the steaming mugs on the counter.  Merlin settled in at the table while Arthur gulped down his tea before joining him, lifting his feet into Merlin’s lap with a cheeky grin.

Merlin rolled his eyes at him, hiding his smile behind his own mug.  It felt strangely not-weird being like this with Arthur, like they’d been working up to this forever.  Which was ridiculous, because even if Merlin had harbored (very secret) daydreams of domestics with his flatmate, none of them had involved a dragon chirping at them.

“You’re being very calm about this dragonlord thing,” he observed quietly, watching Arthur watch Aithusa.

“That’s because I haven’t finished my tea yet.  I can’t have a proper freak out until I’ve had at least a cup,” Arthur replied.  Merlin tried very hard to be annoyed, but the relief was too strong so he just leaned forward and pulled Arthur into a tea-flavored kiss instead.

“You’re amazing,” he said seriously.  Arthur smirked.

“Remember that for when I realize this isn’t a dream and do actually start freaking out, yeah?”

Merlin smiled, but didn’t say anything.  In his mind he saw the scene from last night, after the questions and the answers and a few minutes of confused shouting, when he’d slipped away for the toilet and to let Arthur think, and came back to see Aithusa sat in front of the sofa, muzzle brushing gently at Arthur’s outstretched fingers.  And Arthur’s face, wide-eyed as he held himself incredibly still, until Aithusa had given a soft whistle and he’d reached down to stroke her neck wonderingly.  And he knew, just like he had last night, that everything would be fine.

\- -- --- ----- --- -- -

The moment Merlin stepped off of the train, he could feel it.  His entire body was buzzing with his magic, making his steps faster and his smile wider.  Arthur followed at a slower pace, knowing after almost a decade that Merlin would want his space for the moment.

As always, Iseldir was waiting for them, his customary serene smile in place.

“Welcome back.”

Merlin gave him a distracted smile.  He fidgeted for the entirety of the short trip from the station to Iseldir’s farm, jumping out before the cart had quite rolled to a stop to throw his head back and bellow, “Aithusa!”

An answering call greeted him, followed a second later by the steady beat of wings.  Merlin grinned as the massive form of Aithusa approached.  She was nearly seven times the size she’d been after her months spent in Merlin and Arthur’s flat, and had flourished from her years living in the druid community.  Merlin knew from his own observations and Gaius’ near-constant emails that the druids had all come to love Aithusa, just as Arthur had (after the month of inevitable fighting and freak outs had passed, and the three of them had settled into a routine).  Her well-fed body and gleaming scales were proof of that love, Merlin noted approvingly when she landed in the clearing, swinging her head around to give the toothy leer that served for a smile.

“Merlin.”

“Aithusa,” he said again, moving forward to scratch behind her jaw.  “You look well.”

“So do you.  It’s been a while.”

Merlin ducked his head with a soft smile, passing his hand down Aithusa’s neck.  “I know, we’ve been busy,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at Arthur, who was still standing a few feet away, and gestured.  “There’s someone we want you to meet.”

Arthur stepped forward, shifting the bundle in his arms to reveal a mop of dark hair falling over sleepy, curious eyes.  Aithusa extended her muzzle, and the baby gurgled, stretching out his fingers to meet her.

“Aithusa,” Merlin said, exchanging a hopelessly fond smile with Arthur, “this is Cador.”

Their son squealed when Aithusa blew a gentle breath towards him, face scrunched in delight.  Aithusa rumbled in the way that Merlin knew was laughter.

“Pleasure to meet you, young dragonlord.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Ending does not imply mpreg; in my mind, Merlin and Arthur do a surrogate pregnancy to continue the dragonlord line.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading! x


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